Early Years
I was born in Durban, South Africa in 1979 and we lived on the Bluff. My father worked at the Engen oil refinery ( then called Mobil ) and he worked shifts. Because of these shifts he would drink daily and after a few drinks he would change into a not very nice person. He would often call me horrible things and tell me horrible things, he would often hit me as well when he was drunk. I was also always the smallest person in my class at school , over my whole school career and this resulted in me being bullied and teased for most of my school career. With what was going on at home and then at school I very soon decided that I really did not care about much and ended up rebelling against everything I could.
I left school halfway through Grade 11 as I had an opportunity to go to tech and study Electical Trade Theory but after completing N2 I was told I could not return for N3 as I have missed to many days and they did not want someone that was going to be absent all the time.
The Road into Addiction
I started drinking alcohol in my last year of school, and this continued afterwards. At around the age of 17, I began smoking weed and drinking much more heavily. I had already started going out clubbing when I was about 16, often spending my nights at metal clubs in Durban.
By the time I was around 19, I began experimenting with other drugs, including ecstasy and LSD. I also went through a phase of abusing a diet tablet called Thins, which allowed us to stay awake and club from Thursday through to Saturday nights.
When I was about 22 or 23, a friend introduced me to crack cocaine. At first I only smoked with him once a week, but before long I started looking for it on my own and using it more often. Eventually I became addicted to crack, and the next ten years of my life became a very difficult period as I battled with addiction.
During that time I went to rehab in 2007, again in 2010, and once more in 2011. Each time I tried to get clean, but I could never seem to stay sober for long afterwards.
Finding Recovery
In 2011, after losing my job and reaching a point where almost every family member and friend wanted nothing to do with me, I moved into a halfway house in Pietermaritzburg. It was there, in that place, that I encountered Jesus, and my life began to change.
That was 14 years ago, and I have been clean from all drugs and alcohol ever since. There are many stories from that time that I could share, but I will leave those for another time.
Looking back now, I realise that recovery did not happen in one dramatic moment. It happened through many small steps, many small decisions, and many moments of grace. Over time, those small moments began to add up and slowly shape a different life for me.
In many ways, that is what the Staple Jar represents. One small staple at a time, added day after day, eventually fills the jar. Our lives and our stories work the same way. Small choices, small acts of courage, and small moments of faith can slowly change the direction of a life. The Staple Jar Project was created as a place where people can share those moments — the struggles, the healing, the hope, and the journey.
